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For the Glory of Spam by Alyce Wilson, from Completely Different, 1991 (drawings by Andy Fluke) What could be more glorious than Spam? Okay, besides lint. Nothing! That is why we chose to celebrate the virtues of Spam in this year's Homecoming Parade (either that or it was to fit the IFC theme, "For the Glory..."). We marched with two huge Spam boxes, which were tired and shagged out from a long trek in last year's parade. This year, they kept falling off the sticks they were on. We did silly walks on command and sang the Lumberjack song. But I think what most of us will remember was being behind the Fiji's and "Dee Gees" (Delta Gamma). They had a flatbed truck piled high with "little sisters" dressed like Raggedy Ann. They kept chanting in unison and jumping up and down, whilst the flat bed sagged and creaked. "Dr. Science," I asked Mark, "What would happen if we put one more person on that float?" "The mass would reach a critical point and would collapse into a black hole," he informed me. At the judges stand, the flashers flashed the judges and we did a primal scream, "But I don't like Spam!!!!!"
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