Thus, this earnest but odd directive in the parade handout distributed to MPS members: "We need to get the coffin in our place by 2:45 p.m. on Friday. We need to volunteers to help me move it from Alyce & Jenny's room. We will meet in their room by 2:30 SHARP!"

The only thing odder than that in the instructions was the following: "Everyone moon Bryce Jordan when we go by the Presidential review stand (see map). Also, the Engineering Platoon will be laying land mines along the likely route of advance, and the Howitzer Battery will provide artillery support. The squadron of Soviet Mi-24d helicopter gunships I asked for may not arrive in time, so don't count on air superiority."

This was the last time we let Trotsky write the instructions.

We'd been planning it for months... ok, weeks... ok, days. Finally, the hour arrived for the Penn State Monty Python Society to bring the entire population of State College to their knees. We decided to attack them in the sneakiest way possible... by making them laugh! First, we rallied in my room, to build the troupe morale. Not nearly as many people showed up as I expected. Kzin [Jon Kilgannon], L.J. ["Trotsky" Sparvero], Rick (not Pizar) and I took the coffin down to the registration spot. I was cold, so I headed back to my room after we got it there.

A few people, like Jake [Jennifer Spangler], Stosh and Steve Gradess came by. Most of the people went straight to the site, I guess. Linda Novak and I were the last to leave, with Meg Jeffery. We left a note on the door telling Jenny [Hoffman] where to go. We ran into her on the way up to the room, anyway. She let me borrow her black half-gloves for the parade (to complement my pallbearer's outfit of a black turtleneck over two layers, black pants, black shoes, black socks and the black side of my scarf, as well as my black and white sunglasses).

We had to search a little to find the others, but we made it all right. Kzin was down there, as was Holli [Weisman], L.J. ["Trotsky" Sparvero], Jake and Don [Klees]. Others showed up gradually, until we had quite a few participants, costumed as follows: Mister Neutron/Banner Carrier, Paul Farkas; Mr. Gumby/Banner Carrier, Tom Collins; Inspector Dim (of the Yard), Don Klees; D.B. Gumby, Damon Buckwalter; Yellowbeard, Stosh; A Cardinal, Cathy Nelson; Cardinal Gumby, Holli Weisman; Dennis V. Morbid (Head Undertaker), Jon "Kzin" Kilgannon; Pallbearers, Alyce Wilson, Megan Jeffery, Linda Novak, [Jennifer] Jake Spangler; Nudge-Nudge Wink-Wink Man (Norman), Eric Schr9ager; Leon Trotsky, L.J. Sparvero; Trotsky's Grandmum, Jenny Hoffman; Unknown, Abner Mintz, Rick; Brian (Not the Messiah), Steve Gradess.

I had a pretty severe cold, so I carried with me a bottle of Vicks Formula 44-D (for coughs plus congestion). I'd taken the label off it, so all you could see was the transparent bottle and the alarmingly, near-fluorescent red liquid. When pressed as to what the bottle contained, I told them it was undiluted blood with a little bit of sugar.

We had to wait for quite awhile before we got on the road. So we posed for pictures and practiced the song, which is our theme, "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!" And we did the usual silly stuff, such as stuffing Paul's sweatshirt with toilet paper so that he looked like Mister Neutron. We put the roll on Trotsky's sword and pulled it off in huge streamers, balled it up and padded him but good.